The goal of my yoga is to create and then reinforce self-worth. This is needed in order to show up fully in relationships. And to do that, you have to have self-love. SO! What does that have to do with shame?!?
Well, shame gets in the way of self-acceptance. A person, such as myself, must therefore identify all the parts of the shame they are carrying and give it away. I'm going to do that right now.
What am I ashamed about?
I have been through three marriages and a few failed relationships before that. (I hang my head in shame.) For my first marriage there was a huge wedding but the relationship sank almost immediately; the second one resulted in a son; and the third one had a large age gap.
I tried moving to Germany and failed.
In doing that and going on a long motorhome excursion, I left my son.
I drank too much over the past number of years, ever since Jeremy died.
My yoga studio failed in part because I quit teaching daily yoga classes.
I quit teaching yoga because students didn't like my new class format. (I allowed rejection to get the better of me.)
I alienated people with my vegan activism. (I put ideals over people.)
I allowed myself to become small by being comfortable and withdrawing.
I yearned to be elsewhere rather than really coming to terms with my location (Athens).
I've changed my life course too many times.
When I became a truck driver, I put on weight. It took me years to get it off.
I have not been loving enough to the people in my life.
Ok, so that's a lot. That's what I've been carrying and also denying. It eroded my sense of being worthwhile. Now, I'm acknowledging this shame and also I'm forgiving myself.
JAI !!
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